1. Did you vaccinate your child? I do not care if you are for vaccinations or against them but it is none of your business if I did or did not get my child’s vaccines. I did what was best for my child and our family.
- I am sorry to hear. Why do people say this when they find out your child is autistic? Is it to be kind or because they have a lack of better words? Or plainly speaking they just do not know what to say. Be honest say I don’t know what to say. Do not say sorry because deep down it hurts I know you are trying to be sympathetic for the struggles I may be enduring but in reality my kid is still my child and I am not sorry they are autistic. Everything happens for a reason, I neither you should be sorry because my child has some difficulties. They are still alive and breathing and that’s all I can ask for.
- Do you discipline your child? Yes I do discipline my child but certain things are not worth the tantrum or meltdown that they will have. No I do not just let my child run around acting crazy but I also learned as a mother with special needs children there are times and places to choose your battles and if they are not hurting themselves, or hurting anyone else most of them battles are better left alone. I cannot beat the autism out of my child just like you cannot beat the ignorance out of others so don’t roll your eyes in annoyance, instead try smiling and showing some compassion and understanding.
- Do not ask if my child is on medication for their “problems”! I do not ask you if you have medication for the inappropriate comments that come out of your mouth so don’t ask if I use medication to control my child’s behavior issues when they are overwhelmed by their surroundings. I do not judge if someone uses medication because most of the time I know parents have exhausted all other options but don’t assume because my child is a little difficult to deal with that they are or need to be medicated.
- She can’t be autistic because… People look at your child and may see them as “normal” so they assume your child cannot be autistic. If my child didn’t have issues do you really think I would want to label my child with something like autism? Not that it is a bad thing but people have a tendency of not wanting to deal with autistic kids or thinking of the autism as something negative. My child has been through therapists, specialists, and doctors that found results of autism. I don’t want these difficulties for my child but they are there and I am blessed with a miracle with some special needs, and some even more special strengths.
- It’s just a phase they’ll grow out of it. I hate hearing this. Yes some kids go through phases and yes some of them outgrow them. That is not the case for all children. Certain tendencies get worse as they age and others will improve but they will always shave it. It is a lifelong diagnosis. The requirements to meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis are extensive and in depth. Your child must meet these requirements and they are not things that can changed. So No it is not a phase and No she will not grow out of it.
- If my kid acted like that I wouldn’t bring them places. The truth is I may not always want to bring my child with autism out with me but they need the exposure to social settings and everyday life. As so I . I spend my days home with my child and I can get stir crazy only communicating with her. I know there is a chance of a meltdown every time we go to the store but I am prepared for the worst while hoping for the best.
- How should my kid play with your autistic kid? There is nothing “wrong” with my child that your child couldn’t play with them like any other child. They may have social awkwardness and may not pick up on social skills that other kids do but they play just like any other kid. Also normal developing children are good peer models for autistic children to learn from. They can observe the social skills, and reciprocate their responses.
- I heard you can cure your kid by…. There is no cure. There are therapies and individualized educational plans that can help your child be able to function in everyday life more effectively but there is no cure. There is no way to get rid of an autism diagnosis it is LIFELONG. Keep your stories about so and so who had it and now doesn’t and your book that says this and that to yourself.
- Are you worried about her future? In some ways yes we all are, but what parent isn’t worried for their child’s future? I feel like I can give her the best tools, opportunities, and and chances at being a “normal” child. She will always struggle with certain things but we will cope with those things as she changes and grows. No I don’t worry about her future. I will do everything in my power to give her the therapies, and help she needs to be successful, she will graduate, she will have a job, and she will one day have a family of her own.